why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
