if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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