mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
