he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
