Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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