I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
