Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
