Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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