I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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