Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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