i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
