She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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