I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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