Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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