you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
