I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
