Will you blow on my dice?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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