Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
