new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
