he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
