it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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