And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
