She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
