I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
