I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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