Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
