Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
