he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
