she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
