***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
