do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
