I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
