you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
