I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize