In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
