The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think im going to throw up on grandma
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm always down for nudity.
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