he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
