In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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