I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
