I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
