mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize