i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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