you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
