sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
