I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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