2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
