You made me cry and you don't even care
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
