i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
