Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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