how can u be prego again
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize