she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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