So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
