So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
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