I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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