I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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