it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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