I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
