I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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