He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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