so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
