so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
