id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We're too hungover to prance.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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